My mind was a thought factory

My journey with Mindfulness training began a few years ago, and the exploration of my own thoughts within that curriculum proved to be a deeply transformative experience. It wasn't just an intellectual exercise; it fundamentally shifted how I perceived myself and the world around me. One of the most striking initial discoveries was the sheer busyness of my inner landscape. The practice of simply observing these thoughts held a peculiar intrigue for me.

 The chaotic sensation of being submerged in a sea of thoughts.

It brought me back in time to my childhood and teenage years, where my mind felt like a factory floor, churning out ideas, worries, and imaginings at an astonishing rate. A fleeting moment of appreciating the morning light on flowers could be instantly overshadowed by anxieties about distant disasters, potential heartbreaks, or looming failures. The random and often relentless nature of these thoughts was unsettling, even frightening. In retrospect, I now see how this constant internal flux likely played a significant role in the unpredictable emotional terrain of my youth – those sudden descents into sadness or anxieties or boredom that seemed to have no discernible trigger.

Meditating on thoughts, as I learned, is the intentional act of observing these mental occurrences, creating a sense of space between the observer (myself) and the observed (the thought). Initially, this concept felt paradoxical. How could I observe something so transient? How could I look at what felt like nothing? Yet, with patience and consistent practice, the ability to observe my thoughts began to develop. And with this newfound skill, the puzzle pieces of my past emotional experiences started to fall into place.

A profound yet simple realization emerged from this practice - our thoughts are, in essence, a natural function of our brain, much like the beating of our heart or the process of digestion. We don't typically become overly involved with or controlled by the outputs of these other bodily systems, so why do we become so attached to and influenced by our thoughts, which then shape our moods? It's a cycle that seems to perpetuate itself.

Creating Space Between Self and Thought by simply noticing them.

For the first time, I could truly see my thoughts as simply byproducts of a functioning organ. This observation had a liberating effect, stripping them of the power they once held over me. A sense of detachment grew organically, allowing me to recognize them for what they are – transient mental events. I gained the capacity to observe them with a degree of objectivity and, crucially, to consciously choose where to direct my focus. I realized that the control I had always possessed was not over the thoughts themselves, but over the direction of my attention. Gradually, the sudden mood swings of my youth and my feeling of being trapped by them began to make sense.

This journey of understanding my thoughts has been deeply intertwined with learning to care for myself on a deeper level. As we become more aware of our inner landscape, we are better equipped to respond to our needs with kindness and intention. To help you begin your own exploration, I've put together a small resource with some simple practices you can try.

Cultivating Inner Space: A Mini Self-Care Toolkit